Hot Topic: Becoming Your Mother

I bet the topic caught your eye today! šŸ™‚

You know the old saying, ā€œI can’t believe I’m becoming my mother!ā€ Little things you start to do, that you once told yourself you would never do and you catch yourself doing them that completely remind you of something your Mom would do.

I have definitely caught myself a few times and I just chuckle a bit.

This post is a bit different though. This weekend I was cleaning the house, and I got to my bathroom. Don’t we all just love cleaning the bathroom?! šŸ˜‰ I went to vacuum the floor, when I looked down & moved the scale to clean under it just like always. But then something hit me.

Part of my EVERY day routine is weighing myself. It’s nothing new, I’ve been doing it for YEARS & YEARS. Why?, you ask. Well, honestly it has just become very much routine, but also it’s a comfort thing. Knowing that I am a certain weight, makes me happy.

Pathetic? Yes. But you know what? I have done it for SO long that it doesn’t even phase me now.

But as I looked at that scale this time, something else ran through my head. What if my daughter sees me doing this.

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What kind of example does that set? That weight is everything? That the number on the scale determines my mood for the day?

Ugh. How terrible!

The last thing that I want to pass on to my daughter is body image issues. I have been through the ringer regarding body image, and it SUCKS. Plain & simply SUCKS. The worst part is that it is SO common. It’s no longer a rare thing. Hearing that someone has anorexia or bulimia is like saying the sky is blue. I HATE that it has become this way, but the facts are facts. 😦

Because of these facts, my goal is to set a positive body image for Gabriella. I want her to see me as STRONG, HAPPY, and someone that loves herself as a person.

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I totally agree with the statement that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.

I want her to LOVE herself and know that no matter what a number on a scale says, that she is a wonderful, precious, unique person.

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So what does all of this mean?

Well, I have a lot to fix…about myself. Now, this is NOT, by any means, going to be an overnight fix. This is something that takes time…and lots of it. But you know what? I’m willing to take the time. This is something that I WANT to do.

When I look at Gabriella I see my EVERYTHING. She is a little me. Looks wise, heck no, she’s completely her father :), but everything else is me. The stubbornness, the strong willed personality, the independence…I swear it’s me in a nutshell. (& hey, a little bit of Craig thrown in there too šŸ˜‰ ) But the thing I don’t want to pass on is that lack of self worth. She needs to know from the beginning how to value herself as a person. I think it’s one of the MOST important lessons that someone can learn.

What I promised myself was to work on this whole scale thing.

Again, it’s NOT going to be overnight. But I WILL accomplish it. I will get over this need to weigh myself everyday. My goal is to one day get to just weighing once a week. I think that is a healthy goal.

I know I can do it. I have a MUCH stronger motivation…my daughter. Amazing how much she can influence me. In more ways than one šŸ˜‰

It’s so funny how such a little person can affect you so much. I want to make myself a better person because of her. She just means the world to me, and how she looks at me when she gets older is HUGE. I do not want to lead with a bad example.

I want her to look at me and WANT to be like me.

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