The Beast Is Back…

Good Morning to you!

This post is going to be a bit of a ‘Debbie downer’ type of post, and for that I apologize, but I just want to be as real as I can be with you regarding my Crohn’s disease.

I had planned on writing this a few weeks ago, right when Gabriella turned 6 months old, but I kept putting it off and it’s kind of ironic that I did because boy did it change in a matter of a couple of weeks.

I was living the life before this past week. It was almost like I didn’t have the disease. I had a few rough days here & there, mainly with the urgency to go to the bathroom immediately, but nothing too crazy.

Before I got pregnant with Gabriella I couldn’t remember the last time that I was able to run outside. I always ran on the treadmill so that I was near a bathroom at all times.

Then I got pregnant & life changed. My Crohn’s pretty much went into ‘remission.’ I couldn’t believe it, I didn’t know what it was like to live life Crohn’s free.


I was able to run outside, eat ‘normal’ foods when I wanted & not have to know where every bathroom was within a two foot radius…well, other than the normal pregnant woman’s need to pee every five seconds. Haha!

During my pregnancy I always wondered how my Crohn’s would do once I gave birth. Would it flare up, like some women experience? Would it stay the way it has been during my pregnancy, which was pretty much remission? Or would I experience a ‘milder’ form of the disease?

November 5th, 2012 I got my answer. My little bundle of love arrived.


The best day of my life.

I honestly was on pins & needles regarding my Crohn’s after giving birth. I really felt like at ANY second it would flare back up. But as time went on, and I didn’t have any symptoms (other than a few here & there), I figured I may be in the clear.

Well, you know what assuming does…

Last week it took a turn for the worse. The VERY worst. One night it just hit me. I could NOT stay out of the bathroom. I was either up feeding Gabriella, or in the bathroom…ALL NIGHT LONG. It was awful. Completely draining.

I was hoping it might have been something that I ate, and that the issues would go away. Not the case. For the past week I have been in the bathroom more than I ever want to talk about.

I have been completely exhausted. My body is not absorbing ANY food. The second I eat anything, even something as plain as a piece of toast, I end up in the bathroom about five minutes after I finish. Gross.

The other thing that is worrisome is my weight. It keeps going down…it’s getting BAD. I know, you are probably thinking, ‘Cry me a freaking river Holly. You poor thing.’ But it IS a HUGE issue now. I lost three pounds in two days. I look like I need to eat. It’s NOT the look I’m going for.

This is me (& Lea 🙂 ) right before I got pregnant:


I actually liked my weight at the point in life….which for me had NEVER happened before. I always had issues with body image (I thought stick thin was the way to go), so to actually be content with my weight was a shock.

Now I am smaller than the picture above, which was ok, but now I am quite a bit smaller. Seeing bones is never attractive. This is not by choice, but just because my body isn’t absorbing any nutrients…or any food at all.

The other thing is the exhaustion. Never have I ever really ‘needed’ help with Gabriella since she has been born. Of course I appreciate any help, but right now I am almost to where I NEED the help. Another reason I wish we had family close by. Taking care of a 6.5 month old while being in the bathroom half of the day is not ideal.


I feel bad for G. I don’t want her to feel like I’m not paying her enough attention.

Another thing is the running. I LOVE running. It is my sanity, and MY time. Yes I go with Gabriella daily, but she plays with toys in the BOB while I run & typically takes her morning nap in the stroller. It gives us a chance to get out of the house, and I am able to get my exercise in. I usually run anywhere between 6 & 10 miles each day. But yesterday I ran three miles & thought I was going to die. I couldn’t believe how DONE I felt when I finished. I felt like I just ran a marathon. Then it hit me ‘DUH!!! You have no fuel in your body to get you through your run. HELLO!’

It’s amazing how much better you feel with some food in your body! And it was scary after that run, to see how much my body was suffering from the symptoms from my Crohn’s.

Once I got home, I called the doctor to see if they had any appointments available. Thankfully they were able to squeeze me in for an ‘emergency appointment’ yesterday afternoon, specifically for patients dealing with a sudden flare up. Like any other doctor appointment, the first thing they do is weigh you & take your blood pressure. Well, the FIRST thing the doctor says when he walks in is ‘You can’t lose anymore weight.’ Which I knew. So we made a plan.

Since I am breastfeeding, my options on the medications that I can take are limited. But he did change my medication from Delzicol to Apriso, which is another form of Mesalamine and it is safe for breastfeeding.

Next up the plan for not losing anymore weight: add protein shakes, or nutrition shakes to my diet. He said 2-3 a day. Eek! But it’s manageable and NEEDS to happen. I immediately went out and bought some shakes as soon as I left the office.

And finally they sent me to a lab to pick up some things so that they can run a bunch of tests to find out if there is some sort of another infection going on, or if it is just my Crohn’s flaring.

He also reminded me that if I am feeling exhausted, it’s probably not the best idea to go out for a long run. (I know, DUH!) He said sometimes a little rest does the body good. And obviously my body is telling me to rest with the feelings of constantly being tired.

I go for a follow up appointment in two weeks. At that appointment we can make our next plan. But we are hoping that the medication starts to work wonders.

If you don’t mind, please say a little prayer that we can find something that works to get this disease back in ‘remission.’ Also anyone want to come & help me take care of a 6.5 month old for a few days?!


She’s REALLY cute & I promise to pay you in baked goods.

If you made it through this entire post, THANK YOU! I hope it didn’t bore you too much.

Anyone else out there experiencing issues with Crohn’s? What medication or supplements, if any, are you on? Do you have certain things that trigger your disease?


22 thoughts on “The Beast Is Back…

  1. So sorry it’s back Holly… Definitely take a break from the running for now. You owe it to your body to get it back in tip top shape!

  2. So sorry to hear Holly! Prayers your way. And I’d totally come help you out with Gabriella so our G’s could play!
    Hugs and kisses!
    emma @

  3. Aw, I’m sorry to hear your Crohn’s is sneaking back up on you again! Definitely take it easy on your body — running will always be there!

  4. well you helped me through my episodes so please know i am here for YOU! Praying!! You are a great mom. Gabrielle already feels that. Add those shakes in! Lots of coconut butter, chia pudding, potatoes, etc!!! Need more healthy bites? Just say the word!

    • Thank YOU Lindsay, you are such a wonderful blend 🙂 Thank you for your kind words. & yes, I will be contacting you soon about Healthy Bites- maybe I can be in line for next month’s batch of them. & hmm, coconut butter? I’ll have to check that out- I have coconut oil & I have heard good things about it helping with the Crohn’s.

  5. I really hate to read this Holly. I am hoping somehow it all goes away and I know Gabrielle is too. You are such a great mom and running will be there for you no matter what. Take care of yourself and enjoy the time with Baby G. I can’t even really put into words how awesome I think you are.

  6. I’m sorry to hear the Crohns has started to flare up again 😦 I always say my problems get worse as soon as I start thinking they are better. It happens to me ALL the time so I just never say anything anymore. Haha! I really hope your body starts to calm down with the medication and nutritional shakes, especially so you don’t go into a state of being too run down to do what you love. I’m sure you’re doing so well with Baby G! You’re doing everything you can at the moment and more! I would definitely come help you if I could and we could sit and eat cookies all day. Lol Feel better ❤

  7. I’m sorry you’re having a flare up Holly. 😦 I don’t know if you’ve heard of the book but Wheat Belly by William Davis talks about the effect of dwarf wheat (the wheat we eat today) has on our bodies and goes into various ailments including Crohns. He recommends to cut out wheat completely and not just wheat gluten. Maybe it might help you out? Hope you’re feeling better soon!

  8. I would love to come take care of her! My last day of work ( and the school year) is Friday ;)! I will say a prayer for you. I hope that you get some answers!

  9. Thanks for the post and for your openness! You are really the only person I know with Crohn’s and a step ahead of me in life and I appreciate getting to watch how things work out for you (even though I know our variation of the disease is different). I actually just went to the ER last thursday morning for what I thought was a Crohn’s flare but turned out to be a kidney stone manifesting EXACTLY like my flares. (I think I completely surprised the dr on call haha!). I’ve been really lucky since my surgery in ’08 and have been pretty well managed on Remicade. But my body is actually starting to have what are like allergic reactions to the med during the infusion. It varies from time to time between crazy itching on my palms and the soles of my feet or a breathing reaction where it feels like my lungs tighten and it just takes extra effort to breathe (not like suffocation but just extra effort). This all requires extra medications to treat the side effects. I feel like my body is hinting that I shouldn’t rely on this medication.
    I recently graduated college and my goal after getting past the stress of settling into a new job is to talk to my doctor about getting off the biologics. I want to try and manage it myself (or at least with lesser drugs) and attempt being drug free for future pregnancies.

    I’m really sorry to hear you are dealing with a flare and I will say some extra prayers for your recovery and health! Thanks again for writing about what no one writes about! haha

  10. Sorry to hear that your Crohn’s is acting up again 😦 Have you ever considered trying the paleo style type of eating? If you are interested, Diane Sanfilippo wrote a book called, “Practical Paleo” and if you don’t feel like spending the money on the book, she has a free podcast called Balanced Bites… lots of interesting information about gut health healing. Here is the link to the website if you’re interested:

    Hope your flare up goes away soon!

  11. sorry forgot to mention Robb Wolf and Lorren Cordain are some other authors as well!

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  14. My Grandfather suffers from Chron’s Disease and reading your posts helps me better understand how he is feeling. He wasn’t able to do the things he had before and it was driving him crazy. I hope this gets under control for you!

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