Hot Topic: Becoming Your Mother

I bet the topic caught your eye today! šŸ™‚

You know the old saying, ā€œI can’t believe I’m becoming my mother!ā€ Little things you start to do, that you once told yourself you would never do and you catch yourself doing them that completely remind you of something your Mom would do.

I have definitely caught myself a few times and I just chuckle a bit.

This post is a bit different though. This weekend I was cleaning the house, and I got to my bathroom. Don’t we all just love cleaning the bathroom?! šŸ˜‰ I went to vacuum the floor, when I looked down & moved the scale to clean under it just like always. But then something hit me.

Part of my EVERY day routine is weighing myself. It’s nothing new, I’ve been doing it for YEARS & YEARS. Why?, you ask. Well, honestly it has just become very much routine, but also it’s a comfort thing. Knowing that I am a certain weight, makes me happy.

Pathetic? Yes. But you know what? I have done it for SO long that it doesn’t even phase me now.

But as I looked at that scale this time, something else ran through my head. What if my daughter sees me doing this.

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What kind of example does that set? That weight is everything? That the number on the scale determines my mood for the day?

Ugh. How terrible!

The last thing that I want to pass on to my daughter is body image issues. I have been through the ringer regarding body image, and it SUCKS. Plain & simply SUCKS. The worst part is that it is SO common. It’s no longer a rare thing. Hearing that someone has anorexia or bulimia is like saying the sky is blue. I HATE that it has become this way, but the facts are facts. 😦

Because of these facts, my goal is to set a positive body image for Gabriella. I want her to see me as STRONG, HAPPY, and someone that loves herself as a person.

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I totally agree with the statement that you have to love yourself before you can love someone else.

I want her to LOVE herself and know that no matter what a number on a scale says, that she is a wonderful, precious, unique person.

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So what does all of this mean?

Well, I have a lot to fix…about myself. Now, this is NOT, by any means, going to be an overnight fix. This is something that takes time…and lots of it. But you know what? I’m willing to take the time. This is something that I WANT to do.

When I look at Gabriella I see my EVERYTHING. She is a little me. Looks wise, heck no, she’s completely her father :), but everything else is me. The stubbornness, the strong willed personality, the independence…I swear it’s me in a nutshell. (& hey, a little bit of Craig thrown in there too šŸ˜‰ ) But the thing I don’t want to pass on is that lack of self worth. She needs to know from the beginning how to value herself as a person. I think it’s one of the MOST important lessons that someone can learn.

What I promised myself was to work on this whole scale thing.

Again, it’s NOT going to be overnight. But I WILL accomplish it. I will get over this need to weigh myself everyday. My goal is to one day get to just weighing once a week. I think that is a healthy goal.

I know I can do it. I have a MUCH stronger motivation…my daughter. Amazing how much she can influence me. In more ways than one šŸ˜‰

It’s so funny how such a little person can affect you so much. I want to make myself a better person because of her. She just means the world to me, and how she looks at me when she gets older is HUGE. I do not want to lead with a bad example.

I want her to look at me and WANT to be like me.

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Thoughts on Lent

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What is the origin of Lent?

The Teutonic word Lent, which we employ to denote the forty days’ fast preceding Easter. It is typically Ash Wednesday to Holy Thursday.Ā  These forty days are supposed to represent (according to some of the gospels) the forty days that Jesus spent fasting in the desert before beginning his ministry, where he endured temptation from Satan.

During these 40 days, people give up a luxury or something that they or a habitual sin. (please correct me if I am wrong!)
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Yesterday I got home & Craig asked me what I was giving up for Lent. He didn’t even realize that Ash Wednesday had already passed & that Lent has already started. He was like ‘oops! Guess I’m starting late this year!’

I’m always kind of iffy about doing this because well I had never given up anything for Lent until I met Craig. Typically each year I follow along with him, and give up something. Last year it was ice cream/ frozen yogurt/ anything of that nature and the year before that was diet soda, I believe.
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But this year I feel different. This year I just don’t really feel ā€˜it.’ My whole thing is that something you give up for Lent should be something you WANT to give up, or something that you SHOULD give up. Lent shouldn’t just be a forty day thing, it should be something that you want to change about yourself…for good. Lent should just be a starting point to a new positive habit. That’s just my opinion.

Now I don’t mean if you decide to give up chocolate for lent, that you should give up chocolate forever.
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What I mean is that I think that ā€˜giving something up for Lent’ should be a habitual sin or a habitual bad habit that you want to get out of your life. FOR GOOD.
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So what got me thinking. That’s something I would like to participate in. There are definitely things that I would like to change about myself for good. But then I realized that I actually started Lent about two weeks before Lent began. Yep, I know that sounds a little crazy, you are probably like ā€˜well, Holly, then that’s NOT Lent.’ Ok, ok, I’ll give you that one. šŸ˜‰ Ā But just hear me out.

Remember when I told you 2 weeks ago that I planned on giving up weighing myself daily for one month? I have done it. I have succeeded so far. It’s been over two weeks (ok, so two weeks & one day) since I weighed myself.

I’m not going to lie. It’s was hard….at first. It was such a routine. Something that I did everyday. The scale was the indicator of my mood.
I was either this:
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Or this:
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It didn’t matter. This is what I did. Every.single.day.

Not anymore! Can I tell you how much HAPPIER I have been everyday??? It’s almost unbelievable. Even Craig noticed. He said for the past two weeks it seemed like I have just been in such a better mood lately & he was happy to see the old Holly back. As soon as he said that I remembered HOW MUCH the scale had impacted my mood. (He never mentioned anything about the whole scale issue) It’s amazing how a stupid scale can make such an impact on one’s life.
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NO MORE! I’m done. Now I just use my clothes to make sure my weight is on target. Now I actually feel better about myself..and my self images issues have actuallyĀ been less frequent as well. My brain was just wrapped completely up in a number. How silly! So glad I finally decided to ā€˜see the light’ & no longer need to hop on a scale everyday.

So yes, I decided that I started my Lent two weeks ago….and it feels fantastic! šŸ˜€

Are you giving up something for Lent? What are your thoughts on Lent?

One Month Test

Happy Valentine’s Day!!
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Hope your morning is off to a good start, and that you get to enjoy some Valentine’s candy today! I don’t know about you, but I love those conversation heart candies. I’m not really a big candy person (gimme the ice cream!!), but I do like those little hearts.
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I know this may not be the right day to talk about this subject, since it IS a day all about eating candy & chocolates, but I feel like it is a relatable topic. Yesterday I made a new goal for myself. I am not going to weigh myself for a whole month I know this may sound silly to some people, but I weigh myself every.single.morning. It’s just part of my routine. Something that just happens naturally, like brushing my teeth.

But something hit me this weekend. It’s something that I have been thinking about for a while, but I just never had the courage to do it. I have realized that the scale plays a HUGE part in my mood. Sounds kind of crazy, right? This little thing dictates my mood everyday.
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If it’s down, then I’m happy. Very happy. If it’s up or it stays the same, then I’m upset, and it puts me in a bad mood. How terrible is that?! The CRAZIER thing is that I don’t need to lose weight. Not at all…and I know this. But sometimes I let my mind get the best of me, and I believe things that I know are not true.

I think as a female, we all experience some kind of self image issues. They might be rare, or they could be daily. There are just so many things that influence our thoughts on our bodies, that it is hard not to have a negative feeling every now & then.

But now I have decided to do a test on myself. I weighed myself yesterday morning & then put the scale away. For a month. After a month, I will then take the scale back out & weigh myself again. I can almost guarantee that I won’t change at all. I may even weigh less because I’m not so paranoid about what I weigh, who knows.

Like I said, I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, since I feel so tied to the scale sometimes. I just never had the courage. You know what got me thinking about this? Live with Kelly. How funny is that? I was watching an episode that I recorded this weekend & she happened to say that she doesn’t weigh herself, for this very reason. It determines her mood. I’m a HUGE Kelly Ripa fan & think she has an awesome body!! (Ummm, HELLO ARMS!)
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I guess it just took that ā€˜ah ha’ moment to finally realize that is what I need to do.

So for one month no longer will I jump on the scale every day. Ya, it might be hard..I’m not going to lie, but for my own well being it’s what I NEED to do. Now I will go by how my clothes fit, on how I feel about my weight, rather than a number on a scale. A number really is just a NUMBER!

Another key thing to remember is that muscle weighs more than fat. And for as much strength training as I do, I know that my body is full of muscle…and I like it that way!

What are your feelings regarding scales? Do you own one? Do you use it?